Tag: creativity

The Faithless Logician

I go by J Snow because im a bastard from the north and my first initial is J. I like Jon Snow but Arya & Jaime Are my favorite characters. The Faithless Logician because i most certainly am faithless. And Logician because that’s what a personality test i took called me, and i liked it.

I’m an Artist, Writer, Creator with a degree in Electronic Engineering, from the finest for-profit Technical Institution around ! ; ) A former born again christian, clearminded for 5 yrs or so. A former drunk, fairly dry for close to 10. And a former heroin user, clean since 1-18-18

I have always struggled with anxiety & depression, using drugs & alcohol and religion as a crutch, but only after i sought actual professional help was i able to drop the crutch and move forward!

And for me, moving forward involves speaking my mind, and creating content that i find pertinent, whether that be in the realm of politics, religion, science, anime, manga, asoiaf or whatever i find of importance at any given time.

I love Hockey (Go Pens!!) anime & manga (SNK & such), sci-fi & fantasy (especially ASOIAF!) but i absolutely abhor high-priced fan-fic ; )

I know nothing. but i would like to find out, and you’re more than welcome to join me : )

Youtube ~ J Snow The Faithless Logician (content coming soon)

Deviant Art ~ JSnow81

Blog ~ JSnow.blog

Twitter ~ the Faithless Logician @JSnow81

Patreon.com/J_Snow

The Free Fall

No need for fairy tales, our universe is Awesome on its own
No need to make believe, this existence is already quite unknown
The experiences of my imagination, keeps me on my toes
And though it may seem scary, to heed the hearts wild call
To discard your parachute, your security blanket and all
Still, I say, take the leap, don’t mind the ending, ‘cause it’s all about The Free Fall : )

No Returns

Tried to sell my soul, but could not find a buyer

No pearly gates nor lakes full of fire

Left all alone with only the thirst of desire

Help me quench mine, help me out of this attire

We may be on our own, but that does not make life oh so dire

We still have love, can always create, and the ability to inspire

And that’s enough for me, enough to wake my soul, to light my fire

Lonely Night

  Here’s another one i started while i was depressed, but thankfully, i was able to finish it on not too much of a downer : )

I have a blog post coming up, on the new year, as well as, my 1st full Year clean !! So look for that. Good day, and Happy New Year !!

 

  Every night I lay awake, waiting. Awaiting something that never comes. In the still of night, that is never truly still, when my body is at rest, or as close to it as it can get, and my mind less inhibited by the days monotony, I lay, and I wait, and wait….. and wait…

  Like some love-sick sweetheart, waiting for her letter to come which will tell her that everything will be alright, and that her one and only will be home before the little one can even speak. But like the helpless widow, I do not receive the message I would like, if I receive any at all. So i continue to wait…

  Would that I knew what I wanted my letter to say. I wistfully wait for that to come to me, as well. Of course I would wish stability and happiness for my friends and family but if I had a cosmic boon to use on, and for only, me, well I wouldn’t trust it, but neither do i know what I would use it for…. So I wait…

  I wait for the moment, after the din dies down and before the birds start their song. Just before the darkness engulfs you and you’re still connected to this realm enough to know you should be paying attention but you forgot what ever for. Or maybe you are lucky enough to grasp “It”, taste “it”, believe “it”, even, for that one finite moment of clarity, that can seem everlasting, until it is nevermore.

  Yet no matter how warm, comforting, and reassuring that shimmering silhouetted glimpse may seem, it will never be more than a ghostly phantom, if all we do is nothing but wait.

 

Happiness

Here’s another dark one i wrote a few yrs back, at the height of my depression. Luckily, i am very Happy to report that for about the past year, for the first time in my adult life, i am above water. And once and awhile i’m even able to enjoy the moment and just breath. The lows are still there, but much more manageable. I wish i could tell you the magic bullet to fix everything, but i’m afraid it’s not that simple, and most like, different for each individual. But if i can give one piece of advice, it would be, to be as honest with yourself as you can and except what you find.

 

I have stumbled upon shards of this shiny thing known as happiness, as not to be completely ignorant of its existence. I have caught reflected glimpses of it’s refracted beauty, even felt it’s warmth a time or two. Yet I have never been able to fully enjoy it, as others, for it only seems to cut deeper the harder I try to grasp it. Or grow so cold to the touch as to burn.

I could not tell you what it is to be in a state of happiness, though. Honestly I would be “happy” to be content. It seems to me, whether it be romance or ambition,  one person’s happiness is another’s agony, but what would I know.

I do not wish to cause pain yet I know my lack of joy has not gone unnoted and it, in turn, causes its own suffering for those that have a care for me. If it wasn’t for this hard truth, I would have given up on the mythical creature long ago. Chalking it up to, yet another, luxury that shall remain ever beyond my reach.

I do not begrudge those that are truly happy. I may not understand their blissful nature, nor the ease at which some seem to emanate this wonder. I only hope they cherish the gift, while it is whole and beautiful, and theirs to hold, for once it breaks, it is sure to maim any who try to make sense of the shattered remnants.

The Mad Pathfinder

Most of my poems are dark & depressing, but i wanted to start off on a happier note so i decided to upload the first poem i wrote that wasn’t about suicide, haha. Thankfully, i can now laugh at that. I do that not to make light of the matter, but simply to show, it is possible to make it through a day, a lifetime, of depression & anxiety, and addiction no matter how hopeless & useless it may seem in the Moment.
The Muse strikes, when & where, the muse will strike

Do not resist, oh dear no, do not clamp tight

The levees may fill, do not fret, the levees Must break

Release the Spring, now flow forth, release the flood gate

Fear not, these new freshets of imagination, fear not, their mighty wake

For now, sprouting torrents, raging towards an uncertain fate

For now, Mad Pathfinder, take me to that tranquil trance like State

The Faithless Logician

I go by J Snow because im a bastard from the north and my first initial is J. I like Jon Snow but Arya & Jaime Are my favorite characters. The Faithless Logician because i most certainly am faithless. And Logician because that’s what a personality test i took called me, and i liked it.

I’m an Artist, Writer, Creator with a degree in Electronic Engineering, from the finest for-profit Technical Institution around ! ; ) A former born again christian, clearminded for 5 yrs or so. A former drunk, fairly dry for close to 10. And a former heroin user, clean since 1-18-18

I have always struggled with anxiety & depression, using drugs & alcohol and religion as a crutch, but only after i sought actual professional help was i able to drop the crutch and move forward!

And for me, moving forward involves speaking my mind, and creating content that i find pertinent, whether that be in the realm of politics, religion, science, anime, manga, asoiaf or whatever i find of importance at any given time.

I love Hockey (Go Pens!!) anime & manga (SNK & such), sci-fi & fantasy (especially ASOIAF!) but i absolutely abhor high-priced fan-fic ; )

I know nothing. but i would like to find out, and you’re more than welcome to join me : )

Youtube – J Snow (content coming soon)

Deviant Art – JSnow81

Blog – JSnow.blog

Patreon.com/J_Snow