Tag: discovering yourself

Hello, my name is Jason 2/3

After writing the first letter, i became flooded with, emotions, memories, and a drive to keep going. Thankfully, now, i finally had a tool to deal with the surge. In the past, i kept anything & everything concerning the “real me” well hidden from, first and foremost, myself. I would just shove it down into the darkness as deep as i could, and do my best to ignore it.

But now that i have faced my demons head on, there is no reason to be afraid : )

I never actually finished this letter, but it covers a lot of key points, and i think it does a great job at showcasing the chaotic state of my mind at the time. I was just coming off the drugs when i started this one; around Jan/Feb of 2018. but my Grandma got sick in march. She has since recovered, thankfully, but by the time i went back to the letter (june-ish), i had more clean time under my belt, and was seeing things more clearly, in general. so i just started, what would become, the 3rd and final letter in this series. And for as discombobulated as this one is, the last one is coherent, so bear with me : )

unfortunately, i was unable to load anything but the PDF version, which doesn’t allow you to click or view any of the comment or inserts i made. I shall try to remedy that while you, hopefully, enjoy. Happy Thanksgiving to all, btw

Hello, my name is Jason 2/3

Hello, my name is Jason 1/3

The easiest way to introduce myself is going to be the way, i myself, got to know me.

Sadly, for most my life, i believed this cosmic boon of existence was nothing more than a pit stop on to something much greater & more important, or at least a little less angst filled & bloody senseless.

As i got older, i realized that was just wishful thinking, a fairytale for adults. But instead of this being the last nail in my self-made coffin of solitude, it gave me Hope! As well as, the freedom to explore and get to know the real me. (without the fear of not living up to some unattainable imaginary standard.)

During the summer of 2017, i want on an extended family vacation to south carolina. I hadn’t seen or really talked (completely my fault) to some of them for yrs. and they, catholics, hadn’t been aware that a was an atheist, yet. Which wasnt a huge deal because im lucky enough to have been brought up in a really tight, loving, family. But instead of bringing it up casually, as i had planed, it came out the first night, after a long day of drinking and travailing, and drinking, lol

We decided not to talk about it for the rest of the week, for the sake of the vacation. After i got back, though, i wanted to apologize for the rudeness in my approach, plus i still wanted to say what i had to say, so i wrote what turned out to be the first of three letters. Thankfully, only the first is about religion, but all three helped not only by unlocking a hidden talent, but it helped me discover who i am, and what it is i want to do with this precious boon that i have been bestowed!

Each is addressed to my uncle T (we’ll call him) my mothers eldest brother. My mom had me when she was young, and my dad died when i was two, so from my view at the time, i was lucky enough to be brought up by both my uncles, my mom and of course Granny cat, in a great big loving house where there always seemed to be something going one. which is partly why i don’t address either of them as “uncle”. Some find this disrespectful, but to me, they are more like older brothers &/or father figures, so calling them mere uncles would be the insult, in my eyes. so without further ado, here’s letter 1/3
Firstletter (complete)