What’s Left?

What’s left!? Of a nation so torn, being played against each other, from the day that we’re born

What’s left!? Of a country stripped bare, by greedy corporations & rapacious billionaires

What’s left, after the vultures are through, will there even be a country left for me & you?

What’s left, once the fantasy fades, & there’s nothing but reality to smack us in the face?

What’s left, are a people in pain, abandoned by their government & struggling to maintain

What’s left, is a nation enraged, with more & more becoming disillusioned each day

I’m left, and I’m here to stay, to make you feel uncomfortable & to show you a better way

I’m Left, but I am not alone, there’s millions more just like me, and not one will they own

We’re the Left, and we won’t be ignored, the masses have been ignited so brace for the storm!

I said we’re left, and we won’t be ignored, the masses are ignited better brace for the storm ✊🏽✊🏻✊🏿✊🏼✊🏾

These are the lyrics for my knew Intro (video forthcoming) for my YouTube channel, https://youtube.com/user/jsull81

Where I cover politics from a Leftist perspective

Child of Summer/Memories

The senses, when struck with just the right trigger

Synapses, flare up revealing quite the nostalgic picture

At once, thrown into that space, back to that time, doomed to repeat those same juvenile mistakes

Reliving all that Emotion, that you thought was gone, or had been carelessly misplaced

The crisp autumn air mingling with the fresh smell of new death, what a wonderful taste

Though, it ought well be ashes, for what later took place

Oh, Sweet Summer Child, if you only knew the Stakes

Our most potent Attribute

It’s time for a great Exodus from this self-imposed prison of Complacency

That has nearly all drowning in this Ignorance laded self-righteous sea

Like, “everything will be Fine, sweetheart, you just have to Believe.”

Acting as if there’s some great galactic guardian looking out for each of thee

Which is nothing less than the height of Hubris, as far as I can see

And waiting for someone else to fix our problems just does not sit right with me

Especially when faced with such dramatic consequences & guaranteed Tragedy

It’s time to take full Ownership of our Faults and claim Responsibility

Enough with the finger pointing, bad faith arguments and gaslighting

If Humans are to reach our full Potential, we’ll need Everyone, in order to Succeed

For our most potent Attribute has always been our ability to Cooperate, not our intelligence, strength nor speed

We must stop waging war on the “Other” based on Primal Fear, Petty Hatred and Feckless Greed

Are we really so Selfish as to snuff out our children’s Future, with such remorseless Glee?!

Do you not hear Their calls for Existence, as they beg and they plea??!!

Time is short, sooner, Mother Nature Will be forced to wipe the slate Clean, and could any even blame Her, after being treated so, so Callously?

First year clean : )

The fact that i am even making this post blows my mind. Seriously, i spent the majority of my life expecting to die young, hoping to die young, ever petrified of the future. Now, not only am i looking forward to the future, i am Happy about the possibilities!

I used opiates to kill the pain & to shut off my manic brain for a little while. I also used for an excuse, a reason, for feeling & acting the way i was. For the longest time i was ashamed & embarrassed of my depression, ever thinking it must be my own fault, and admitting its existence would surely bring a rain of ridicule & disappointment at the thought of me succumbing to such a ridiculously weak ailment, if it was indeed an actual medical conditional at all.

Only now, with a yr. clear-headed & clean, do i have enough of a reference point to accurately view how bad it really was. Though, i’m still deathly afraid to talk about it, let alone revisit it. Still not being able to fully enjoy the moment, thinking it will be takin away as soon as i do. Though, i am hopeful that will subside as time goes by.

Even though they happened around the same time, I didn’t receive relief from my depression as soon as a got clean, actually, i didn’t become clean untill the dour fog finally lifted. Once the weight was finally lifted, i no longer needed a crutch.

For the full story, check out my “Hello my name is…” series, but to sum it up, i addressed the underlying issues, which in my case was, first, discovering then coming to terms with who a truly am, and excepting it. And to stop trying to be the person others (mortal & immortal alike) want me to be. I wasn’t able to do this until i recognized and confronted the problem by seeking professional help. It’s not easy finding the right combo of meds, and a therapist you feel comfortable with, but these are essential. No matter who you are, you are not capable of beating this monster alone. Talk to someone, whether its addiction or depression, it is not your fault. And Cannabis! Smoke lots and Lots of Cannabis!!

I guess i could be bitter about not seeking help sooner, but honestly, i wouldn’t change much because all those experiences, joyous & horrid alike, make up the person i am today, and for the first time ever, i like that person : )

Lonely Night

Here’s another one i started while i was depressed, but thankfully, i was able to finish it on not too much of a downer : )

I have a blog post coming up, on the new year, as well as, my 1st full Year clean !! So look for that. Good day, and Happy New Year !!

Every night I lay awake, waiting. Awaiting something that never comes. In the still of night, that is never truly still, when my body is at rest, or as close to it as it can get, and my mind less inhibited by the days monotony, I lay, and I wait, and wait….. and wait…

Like some love-sick sweetheart, waiting for her letter to come which will tell her that everything will be alright, and that her one and only will be home before the little one can even speak. But like the helpless widow, I do not receive the message I would like, if I receive any at all. So i continue to wait…

Would that I knew what I wanted my letter to say. I wistfully wait for that to come to me, as well. Of course I would wish stability and happiness for my friends and family but if I had a cosmic boon to use on, and for only, me, well I wouldn’t trust it, but neither do i know what I would use it for…. So I wait…

I wait for the moment, after the din dies down and before the birds start their song. Just before the darkness engulfs you and you’re still connected to this realm enough to know you should be paying attention but you forgot what ever for. Or maybe you are lucky enough to grasp “It”, taste “it”, believe “it”, even, for that one finite moment of clarity, that can seem everlasting, until it is nevermore.

Yet no matter how warm, comforting, and reassuring that shimmering silhouetted glimpse may seem, it will never be more than a ghostly phantom, if all we do is nothing but wait.

Hello, my name is Jason 3/3

I hadn’t planed on this coming out on American Thanksgiving (if i get done in time) but i’m glad it has, because i have so, so much, to be thankful for. First and foremost, i am grateful & thankful for my incredible loving caring supportive family. Especially my mom, who has, and continues too, support me, both financially & morally, as i try to figure out this thing called life. I could never possibly repay her for all she’s done for me, and our family. She truly is a super hero in my eyes. I just hope to make her latter days as enjoyable and peaceful, as i made her youth chaotic and worrisome : )

I’m truly thankful for, and humbled by, the unwarranted amount of good ppl that still, after everything i put them through, call me friend. Thanks for waiting for me, even though i didn’t deserve it

I’m thankful for, once again, winning the cosmic lottery and awaking to an immersive conscious experience we call life!

I’m thankful, and grateful to all that take the time to read this, or check out any of my other work.

Most of all, though, right now, i am grateful, and quite astonished, to be in a position, a state of mind, where i do not feel a need or desire to stick poison in my vain. Even more surprising though, is that i’m okay. Happy even. Which is all still fairly new, and exciting, and a little bit scary. But its okay : )

Have a great Turkey day wherever you are! Hopefully, one day, everybody will get to be Okay

Letter 3https://docs.google.com/document/d/1U59u4huLrGT8MVgfLMSeEtwZTt0TKMNDbkBPbDM3n3s/edit?usp=drivesdk/3

I’ll post the comments you cant see in the pdf in a couple days, for this letter and the others