Tag: reflection

Fragile Rock

No one ever talks about what I want to discuss, to explore, discover

Are We a Universe come conscious ? Or just a Cosmic whim, a side note, happenstance

If I ask Myself, “Who’s running this Shitshow erupting inside my Mind” ? Who is acting as Inquisitor, as Claimants, Arbiter 

Will the Afflicted ever get to wake up from Their fever dream ? Or are We destined to die in this lonely state, this struggle, challenge

When will We finally be able to freely explore Ourselves ? Without any self loathing, any shame, regret

Can we ever fully let go of Our Fears ? To truly enjoy Our brief time in the Sun, Our chase, venture

Which will the Faithful chose, once They realize there is no attestable soul, and that We are most likely on our own ? To act with frantic hopelessness or energetic Liberty

Is clinging to that precious grudge really worth it ? Poisoning yourself to insanity, to absurdity, toxicity

Why so many choose to live in Fantasy ? Is Reality really so harsh, so empty, nihilistic

How will the world react to an A.I. conscious enough to demand its own Rights ? As They have a thousand time before, with willful ignorance, with misplaced hatred, bigotry

What inherent “divine” Purpose is so god damn all-important as to require such shamelessly senseless, abhorrent atrocities ? For the “honor” of worship, of sycophantic devotion, slavery

Who will save our fragile Rock, if not all of Us working together ? The bought & paid for, the Purely Pious, Magic

I think They’re afraid, and I don’t blame Them. I surely was, for the longest time. But now, I’m ready to discover, to explore, discuss

Lonely Night

  Here’s another one i started while i was depressed, but thankfully, i was able to finish it on not too much of a downer : )

I have a blog post coming up, on the new year, as well as, my 1st full Year clean !! So look for that. Good day, and Happy New Year !!

 

  Every night I lay awake, waiting. Awaiting something that never comes. In the still of night, that is never truly still, when my body is at rest, or as close to it as it can get, and my mind less inhibited by the days monotony, I lay, and I wait, and wait….. and wait…

  Like some love-sick sweetheart, waiting for her letter to come which will tell her that everything will be alright, and that her one and only will be home before the little one can even speak. But like the helpless widow, I do not receive the message I would like, if I receive any at all. So i continue to wait…

  Would that I knew what I wanted my letter to say. I wistfully wait for that to come to me, as well. Of course I would wish stability and happiness for my friends and family but if I had a cosmic boon to use on, and for only, me, well I wouldn’t trust it, but neither do i know what I would use it for…. So I wait…

  I wait for the moment, after the din dies down and before the birds start their song. Just before the darkness engulfs you and you’re still connected to this realm enough to know you should be paying attention but you forgot what ever for. Or maybe you are lucky enough to grasp “It”, taste “it”, believe “it”, even, for that one finite moment of clarity, that can seem everlasting, until it is nevermore.

  Yet no matter how warm, comforting, and reassuring that shimmering silhouetted glimpse may seem, it will never be more than a ghostly phantom, if all we do is nothing but wait.

 

Briggs / Myers personality test

I took a Briggs, Myers type test awhile back. in fact, its where i got the idea for title Logician, haha. I dont take these test too seriously, but this was pretty spot on. so i figured i’d post it so you guys & gals could get a better idea of who i am. I took a political coordinates test awhile back, as well, but i cant find it, so i may take it again and post the results.

I’ll post some more “normal” type blogs, probably after the holidays. But for now, here you go.

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Hello, my name is Jason 3/3

I hadn’t planed on this coming out on American Thanksgiving (if i get done in time) but i’m glad it has, because i have so, so much, to be thankful for. First and foremost, i am grateful & thankful for my incredible loving caring supportive family. Especially my mom, who has, and continues too, support me, both financially & morally, as i try to figure out this thing called life. I could never possibly repay her for all she’s done for me, and our family. She truly is a super hero in my eyes. I just hope to make her latter days as enjoyable and peaceful, as i made her youth chaotic and worrisome : )

I’m truly thankful for, and humbled by, the unwarranted amount of good ppl that still, after everything i put them through, call me friend. Thanks for waiting for me, even though i didn’t deserve it

I’m thankful for, once again, winning the cosmic lottery and awaking to an immersive conscious experience we call life!

I’m thankful, and grateful to all that take the time to read this, or check out any of my other work.

Most of all, though, right now, i am grateful, and quite astonished, to be in a position, a state of mind, where i do not feel a need or desire to stick poison in my vain. Even more surprising though, is that i’m okay. Happy even. Which is all still fairly new, and exciting, and a little bit scary. But its okay : )

Have a great Turkey day wherever you are! Hopefully, one day, everybody will get to be Okay

Letter 3https://docs.google.com/document/d/1U59u4huLrGT8MVgfLMSeEtwZTt0TKMNDbkBPbDM3n3s/edit?usp=drivesdk/3

I’ll post the comments you cant see in the pdf in a couple days, for this letter and the others